Deciding who gets what when a relationship ends can be difficult, but there are ways to make it easier. When dividing your possessions, try to agree as much as you can with your ex-partner – and be prepared to compromise.
Dividing personal possessions
It can help if you write down what matters most to you at the start.
One or both of you may have a significant emotional attachment to some of your possessions, such as your:
- furniture
- shared family car, or
- collections, such as books, music or anything with sentimental value.
It might be hard if you cannot keep things that you believe you’re entitled to but try and reach an agreement if you can. If you cannot agree, mediation can be a good option.
When thinking about furniture and cars, start by working out where you’ll both live after you separate.
Will you both need to furnish new properties? If so, dividing the furniture and big appliances so that you each keep some or buy some new ones can be a fair approach.
Go through the house, the garden shed and the garage and attic – and prepare a list of what’s there.
Then try to agree who gets which items.
There might be some things you cannot agree on. As a last resort, you could take it in turns to choose from a list of what’s left.
If you need help deciding, visit Citizens Advice for information on Using mediation to help you separateOpens in a new window
Dividing possessions if you’ve been living together
If you weren’t married or in a civil partnership and you’re dividing items you’ve bought while you’ve been together and you can’t agree who should get what, it’s useful to know what the law says.
Usually, an item belongs to whoever can show they paid for it. That might be a receipt, bank statement, finance agreement or insurance document in your name. But it can depend on whether something was meant as a gift or bought using joint money.
If you bought something together, you both have a share in it.
If you cannot agree, gather any evidence of ownership you have – receipts and bank statements are a good place to start – and get legal advice.
Agreeing who keeps the car
One of you could keep the family car, perhaps because of work commitments, in exchange for giving up other household possessions.
But keep in mind that if your car is on hire purchase (HP) or personal contract purchase (PCP), the person named on the finance agreement is legally responsible for the repayments.
You also cannot sell the car without the lender's permission – they own it until your agreement is paid off. If you fall behind on repayments, the lender can take the car back. If you have permission to sell the car, but it sells for less than the amount you still owe, you'll need to pay the difference to the lender.
Want to make sure you choose the best way to buy a car? Read our guide How to buy a car
Sorting out jewellery, paintings and collectibles
It's important to agree how to divide items such as jewellery, paintings and collectibles, regardless of their value. For high value items or complicated situations, however, it's important to get legal advice.
It might be worth getting a specialised valuation if you have a joint collection of valuable items. Usually, you'll have to pay for this service.
Agreeing who keeps your pets
It’s best if you and your ex-partner can agree who should keep any family pets. Try and put the welfare of your pet first.
You might feel that your pet should be with you, but that might not be the best solution.
- Where possible, try not to separate children and pets if it’s important for them to see each other.
- Work out if you’ll be able to afford to keep the pet after you split up. Pets can be costly. It’s not only the cost of food you have to budget for. Vet bills can be expensive unless you have pet insurance.
- Pets take time to look after. Make sure whoever plans to keep the pet will have time to look after it. And, if you’re moving, make sure your new home will be suitable.
Find out more in our guide Pet insurance – do you need it?
What the courts would do about your pets
If you and your ex-partner cannot agree on what happens to your pets when you separate, you can ask a court to decide.
How this works depends on your circumstances.
- If you were married or in a civil partnership – pet ownership can usually be sorted as part of your financial discussions.
- If you were unmarried – disputes about pets are usually handled under property law, and the court decides who owns the pet.
Be aware that courts expect people to reach their own agreement on this, rather than leaving it to a court judgement.
Unlike children, pets are treated as property. This means the court will decide who owns the pet – they won’t make ongoing arrangements for how you both share time with your pet.
To decide ownership, the court will look at:
- who bought the pet
- whose name is on official paperwork, such as microchip or vet records
- who pays the bills
- who has handled day-to-day care.
The court doesn't have to consider the pet's welfare in the same way it would for a child, though practical factors can still play a part.
Your next step
It’s worth reading our guide Review insurance for your home and possessions after you separate
