How to sort out your finances on separation if you were living together

The idea of a 'common law marriage' is a widespread myth and doesn’t apply in the UK. As an unmarried couple, your rights around money and property are much more limited.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, any dispute over property is usually decided by who legally owns it and what you can show you paid towards it or agreed to. It might not always feel fair.

In Scotland, you may be able to claim a lump sum if you can show the relationship left you financially worse off. 

Many couples who live together separate without using a solicitor. Unlike divorce or dissolving a civil partnership, there’s no formal legal process to go through.

But you might still want to get legal advice or mediation in some situations. Mediation involves using an impartial person to help you reach agreement. For example, if you and your ex-partner cannot agree about:

• any debts you have
• the home you’ve lived in
• how to split what you own, or
• arrangements for your children.

There are several ways to handle the separation:

• You can arrange your separation entirely on your own.
• If you believe you have a claim against your ex-partner or they’re going to make a claim against you, you can talk to a solicitor to find out what you can do.
• You can use a mediator to help you both reach an agreement.

If you use a solicitor for lots of face-to-face meetings and telephone calls – and especially if your case goes to court – the legal costs could get very high.

If you think you’ll need legal advice but cannot afford it, there is support available if you’re eligible. See our guide Legal aid and other help if you can't afford divorce or separation fees.

Sorting out your shared finances might not be simple and could take a while. Following these steps should make it easier:

1. List everything you own – your home, savings, car and household items. As a rule, things in your name belong to you and things in your ex-partner's name belong to them. But it isn't always that simple, especially with a home or other big assets. In some cases, your ex-partner may be able to claim a share based on what was agreed between you or what each of you paid towards it.
2. Identify all debts. With any joint loan, credit card or overdraft, you’re both responsible for the entire debt. If you’re struggling with payments, use our Debt advice locator tool to find free and confidential debt advice online, over the phone or near to where you live.
3. Work out the value. If you don’t know what your possessions are worth, you might need to use experts. For example, find out how much your property is worth by talking to local estate agents or looking at property online.
4. Agree on how to divide your possessions, including who’ll pay bills and loans. If you cannot agree, take a look at our Sort out joint bank accounts, insurance, bills and other finances with your ex-partner guide.
   If you cannot agree on what to do about your home, what you can do depends partly on where you live in the UK. Whether your ex-partner can make a claim will also depend on where you live in the UK. Find out more in our guide Dividing the family home and mortgage during separation if you were living together. If you rent, your rights will usually depend on whose name is on the tenancy agreement. Find out more in our guide Dividing the rented family home on separation if you were living together.
5. Agree how you’ll support your children, if you have them. As parents, you’re both expected to pay towards the costs of your children. Child maintenance is separate from who owns the home or other assets. Find out more in our guide How do I arrange child maintenance?

It’s a good idea to write a document (draw up an agreement) that explains how you’ve decided to divide everything.

You’re both more likely to stick to an agreement if it’s written down, and it should reduce the chances of confusion later on.

Think about getting legal advice, especially when your home or large sums of money are at stake. It can make your agreement work better for everyone.

Our Divorce and money calculator can help you see where you stand, even if you're not married or in a civil partnership.  

Use it to work out what you own, what you owe and how you might split shared money and assets before you start any negotiations with your ex-partner. 

Some couples find it impossible to agree how to split their finances, or they can agree on some things but not others.

If that’s the case with you, you might find it helpful to use somebody impartial to help you come to an agreement – for example, a mediator.

Another option is to get legal advice from a solicitor.

You might need professional help if:

• you took out a loan for your ex-partner which they cannot or will not pay
• you do not own the home but want to make a financial claim against your ex-partner
• you and your ex-partner have a joint business that you cannot agree how to divide
• you and your ex-partner own your home between you but cannot agree how to split it
• you and your ex-partner have a joint mortgage and you cannot agree who should pay what, or
• you and your ex-partner drew up a ‘living together agreement’ which set out how you would split your finances, but they’re refusing to keep to it.

Is your ex-partner refusing to negotiate or ignoring your legal rights? If so, you might have to go to court to make a claim against them.

You might be able to claim a ‘beneficial interest’ in your home or another property if your ex-partner owns it and you had an agreement or an expectation that you would share its value if you split up.

It depends on things like what you both agreed, and whether you contributed to the deposit, the mortgage, or major home improvements. Just paying everyday bills is not enough to give you a share of the property.

You might be able to make a financial claim against your ex-partner if you’ve been ‘economically disadvantaged’ – or they’ve been ‘economically advantaged’ – by the relationship. Examples would be if you stopped working to look after children so your ex-partner's career could carry on, or if you spent money on improvements to your ex-partner’s property.

You cannot claim for ongoing payments, but you might be able to make a claim for a lump sum.

If you make a claim, it must be within 12 months of breaking up with your ex-partner.

If you moved into your ex-partner’s home and they own it, you may be able to claim a 'beneficial interest' in the property – meaning a share of its value – if you both had an agreement or an expectation that you would share its value if you split up.

The rules about when you can make a claim can be complicated. So it’s best to talk to a solicitor who specialises in disputes between couples who live together and are splitting up.

Be aware, taking your ex-partner to court can be financially as well as emotionally costly.

You can find a solicitor:

• In England or Wales: the Resolution website (its members are committed to minimising confrontation during separation) or on the Law Society website
• In Northern Ireland: the Law Society of Northern Ireland website
• In Scotland: the Family Law Association website or on the Law Society of Scotland website

It’s worth taking a look at our guide Dividing investments and savings when you separate if you were living together.