This guide will show you how to talk openly about money with friends, from explaining when you can’t afford something to handling requests for loans. You’ll learn practical tips to have these conversations without damaging your friendships.
When you can’t afford to join in
Your friends care about you, not your bank balance. Most friends will understand if you explain your situation and suggest alternatives.
Be upfront and positive
Instead of making excuses, try being honest. Say something like "I'm saving for [goal] right now, so I’m looking for cheaper ways to have fun. How about we try [free activity] instead?"
Take the lead on planning
Suggest activities you can afford and that everyone will enjoy. Free or cheap activities can be just as fun as expensive ones - think picnics in the park, home movie nights, or exploring local markets.
Ask for support
Consider asking a close friend to be your “savings supporter”.
Explain what you’re saving for and ask them to help keep you motivated. You could even support each other’s financial goals.
Join our Facebook group
Join our private Budgeting and Saving Facebook groupOpens in a new window for money-saving tips and support from a community of savers.
When friends ask to borrow money
It’s natural to want to help friends, but lending money can complicate relationships. Before saying yes, ask yourself these questions:
Can I afford to lose this money?
Only lend what you can afford to never get back. Check your budget first - don’t put yourself in financial difficulty to help someone else.
Budget planner
To help you manage your money, try our free and easy-to-use Budget planner
Can they realistically pay me back?
If they’re already struggling financially, lending them money might just create more problems for both of you.
Should we make this formal?
For any significant amount, put the agreement in writing. Include how much is being borrowed, when it will be paid back, and keep records of any repayments made.
Alternative ways to help
You can support friends without lending money, like offering practical help like cooking a meal or simply listen when they need to talk about their worries.
You can also share resources like our guides:
How to improve your credit score and the other guides under
Getting your money back
If you’ve lent money and need it returned, approach the conversation thoughtfully.
Start gently
Your friend might have simply forgotten. Try a casual reminder first: "Hey, do you remember that £20 I lent you last month? I could really use it back now."
Be clear about timing
If you need the money by a specific date, explain why: "I need to pay my phone bill next week - could you pay me back by Friday?"
Put it in writing
Text messages or emails create a record of your agreement and can make the conversation feel less confrontational.
Know your options
If all discussions break down and you don't think you're going to be able to get your money back just by talking, you can always seek legal help and make a court claim for money in:
England and Wales: make a court claim for moneyOpens in a new window on GOV.UK
Scotland: make a court claim for moneyOpens in a new window on mygov.scot
Northern Ireland: recover debts owed to youOpens in a new window on nidirect
However, this costs money (starting from £35 for claims up to £300) and should be a last resort.
Find out more on GOV.UK about making a court claim for moneyOpens in a new window
MoneySavingExpert has a guide on making a small claim, court fees and tips to boost your chances of winningOpens in a new window
How to talk about money
Download our guide Talking to friends about money (Opens in a new window) (PDF, 4.3MB)
It includes tips on how to start a conversation, what to do if you think the conversation might be difficult, and how to deal with negative reactions.
