Children can pester you by repeatedly asking for things or ignoring you when you say no. It’s normal for children to do this and have tantrums if they don’t get what they want, but it can be hard not to give in.
Being prepared can reduce pestering
As children grow up, they become better at handling disappointment and frustration, but it takes time. You can help by having a conversation before you go out shopping about what you will and won't buy.
This allows you to calmly say no and explain why at home, where there's more privacy. It also helps children prepare for disappointment ahead of time, so they're not as overwhelmed when you say no at the shops.
Try these tricks
If there’s something your child is desperate to have and you’ve already explained why you’re not buying it, you can:
- suggest they could do paid chores to help them save up quicker
- add it to a birthday list
- offer them a reward if they can give up the thing they’re asking you for. The reward can be something simple that isn’t going to cost extra. For example, you could let them choose which treat you’re going to buy
- explain that they can use their pocket money to save up for it.
Help your child understand the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’
Teaching your child the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ helps them understand why you don’t buy everything they ask for.
Play the sticker game
This simple game shows your children which of the things you buy are needs and which are wants.:
- give your children two colours of stickers — one for ‘wants’ and one for ‘needs’
- ask them to go around the home and put stickers on things that are ‘wants’ and things that are ‘needs’
- when they’ve finished, ask them to tell you about the decisions they’ve made
- talk about which things you think are essential items and which are treats.