If you have siblings, you might need a separate conversation on how to best work together to make sure roles and responsibilities for the care of your parents are clearly set out.
If the responsibility falls on one sibling, they could easily get resentful of the others. And those who aren’t doing the caregiving could feel guilty for not being able to help out as much.
You might prevent relationship problems further down the line by talking about what’s possible and practical to give, so everyone is clear.
Things that are good to agree in advance could be:
- who will tell your parent if you feel the time has come for them to move residential care?
- who will take the responsibility for arranging a move into care?
- who will take responsibility for telephone calls from the care home?
- how will you share visiting responsibilities?
Consider talking about a family care contract, in which the family member taking responsibility of the parents gets paid from family funds. This could reduce resentment and offer other benefits, including:
- allowing your parents to remain at home
- receive quality care
- financially rewarding the individual who’s providing that care.
It’s worth being aware that a family care contract is a legally binding document. So the carer and other siblings need to understand the implications of what’s involved before setting one up.
There can also be complications in the future if your loved one becomes eligible for direct payments for care, as there are different rules about employing family members depending on where you live in the UK.
You can find out more on the Carers UK website