How to help your children grow up with a positive relationship with money

They say that money can’t buy you happiness and I tend to agree with that. However, I will also say that money can be a huge stressor and trigger for poor mental health - irrespective of how much or how little you have. As with all things, one of the best things we can do is pass on good habits and knowledge to our children when we talk about money. 

There is a fine line to tread when it comes to talking to your children about money. On the one hand, it’s important that they know that money is not just an infinite resource and sometimes we can’t have everything we want. But at the same time, children are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for, and we don’t want to pile money worries onto them. I’ve spoken to lots of children who were worried about their family’s financial situation and had nightmares of them becoming homeless. Other children felt guilt that their parents worked so much, to pay for their dance classes or annual holidays. In trying to give their children an awareness of money, parents hadn’t realised the impact that the way they did this had on their mental health.

When explaining to children the value of money, it’s essential not to lay too heavy on blame, or guilt. As frustrating as it can be when your child asks for yet more Robux/bottles of Prime/Happy Meal, it’s important to give them some grace. They’re still young, and learning about the world. My four-year-old recently looked at me exasperated and asked me why I didn’t just go to the shops and get more money out of the machine that prints it… turns out he hasn’t quite grasped the way an ATM works! 

Growing up, we were told not to ever answer the phone because it was probably someone we owed money to. I wasn’t taught how to budget, but I was taught how to best stave off the debtors by paying them just enough that they wouldn’t send the bailiffs around. I was told that “people like us will never have any money” and unsurprisingly I found myself heading off to university with a £1,000 payday loan hanging over my head, repeating the mistakes my parents made. I won’t lie, it made me amazing at hustling and finding money when needed, but I had no savings and a terrible credit rating. Thankfully, I was able to turn things around and despite still not being great with money (thank you ADHD lack of impulse control), I am a lot better than I was. 

All that to say, there are ways to lay the foundations of good money management for your children from an early age. If you decide to give pocket money, you could encourage your child to split their money into three pots - spend, save and donate. This gives them some money to spend on little bits that they might want to treat themselves to, as well as being able to save money for bigger ticket items, teaching them how money adds up if you let it. Finally, a small portion that could be donated directly to a charity, or used towards other giving - for example, my boys love adding a few tins to the local food bank box when we go to the supermarket.

You can teach your children the value of money, and how to have a positive relationship with money, without scaring them, the trick is to keep things age-appropriate and work them naturally into your everyday life. 

Codie is terrible at writing her own bios, but is thankfully better at writing a blog. Catch her (not in the third person thank goodness) over at www.codiekinz.co.ukOpens in a new window where she talks about realistic parenting, delicious vegan food and Disney trips.